Morning Coffee Introspective Thoughts

I sit here in a shaded spot at a coffee shop by the beach, just a 4-minute walk from my apartment. It's late on a Saturday morning. I woke up late, stumbled out of bed, confused, grabbed my dog, Rodrigo, and slowly walked towards the beach before it got even hotter.

I converse with the baristas as I usually do. He asks how I am, and I shamefully say that I feel groggy because I had just slept 11 hours. Disguising his surprise, he chuckles and tells me how he had slept for 3 hours. Working late and starting early in the morning whilst trying to fit in some personal things for himself, like doing yoga and breathing exercises, left him little time to sleep; something had to go, and in that moment he would rather sacrifice his sleep than not doing things for himself. He needed to work these long hours because he had a goal. He wanted to travel to Switzerland, France, and Italy. He knew that it would be costly and that he would need to work longer shifts, but his mind was set. He had a reason behind his tiring days that made it all worth it. He had a vision, a dream, a destination, and this was part of the journey.

I find a shaded spot outside. It's now noon, and a very hot summer's day in the middle of August. I get my coffee and a little cannolo with pistachio pieces, delicious. I packed 3 things in my bag. An iPad, my phone, which I needed to pay with since I never carry cash nowadays, and a book. I first reach for the iPad. I've had a very busy week at work, and for some reason feel the need to be productive even on my off day, brainstorming efficient, "out-of-the-box-thinking" solutions. I open my iPad, which greets me with a warning that I have only 5% battery left. I contemplate for a minute whether I should be productive until the battery is completely depleted, until I think, "fuck it." I put it away and reach for my book, "Like the flowing river" by Paulo Coelho. I sit there reading all these little short stories, each conveying its own beautiful message and life lesson, each based on snapshots of Paulo's life experiences.

A family sits next to me with their 1-year-old. Rodrigo gets up to greet them immediately. The little kid is quite intrigued, but also weary. They stare at each other for a while. "Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you," says the mother. Then follows up with, "Oh, you're reading that book from the Brazilian author!" He is indeed as famous as he claims in the book. We each carry on doing our thing. The family chatting and drinking away, and me reading my book.

At one moment, a massive hornet appears. I've heard so many things about how dangerous they are and how their sting hurts like hell. Immediately, fear starts to fill up within me. I start picturing the hornet stinging me and how much that would hurt. In the same split second, my brain is debating why it would sting me if I do not move at all. Thoughts go back and forth in that direction for a few seconds, playing between logic and the fear based on other people's ideas that were in my head, until I didn't want to feel that anymore and covered my eyes. Kind of like, "if I can't see it, then it's not there, and there's no reason to be afraid." And so, it did, and by the time I put my book down again to see if it was still there, it was gone. It had just landed on my coffee cup, said hello, and left as peacefully as it had arrived.

This, and probably reading the book, inspired me to write down this little entry. I guess I saw some similarity between what I had just experienced and how we experience life day to day. How many times do we close our eyes to things just because we can't deal with the feelings that arise within us when we experience them? Whether it is seeing something unfair or someone doing harm and simply looking the other way. Whether it's experiencing something unfair being done to us and staying quiet to avoid conflict, rather than confronting the person. Whether it's being informed about worldwide issues and turning a blind eye instead of finding ways we can help. The hornet is still very much there, but looking away gives me the illusion that it is gone, and I am safe. Just as well as it could have technically stung me whilst I was looking, it could have still stung me whilst I was looking away.

Similarly, how many times do we have all these irrational fears based on what we hear and are told throughout our entire lives, when, in reality, what we are told is not always the truth. Perhaps if I did panic and flay my hands around trying to swat the hornet away, it would have indeed stung me, and I would have been in a lot of pain. But because I did not try to mess with the equilibrium of whatever was happening around me, trying to impose on the hornet not to be in my vicinity, we could simply share the space in peace, with no harm being inflicted on anyone. I guess this is also valid for people who try to impose things on others, rather than each person living in their own way, respectfully toward others and their surroundings, without imposing anything on anyone.

I love how such seemingly simple daily encounters and experiences can offer so many little insights into life and pass on small life lessons, if we are willing to observe, listen, and be introspective, rather than always trying to distract ourselves with dopamine hits or to be productive.